he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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