I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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