I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
