Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
