I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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