oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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