I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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