His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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