i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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