I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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