It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
