My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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