I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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