I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
