i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
