just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize