She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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