id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
