I wish i was in the wii world.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
