i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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