I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
