As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
