Nicole vs. Life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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