Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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