Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So vagazzling was a success
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
