My hand turned me down
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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