My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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