I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
