well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
