If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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