remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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