Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
