i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
