can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
