I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
