I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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