just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
