when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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