i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
