And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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