Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize