so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
