I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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