smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
