I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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