If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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