This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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