I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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