Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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