i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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