Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
