i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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