hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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