dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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