using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize