Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
