But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
