I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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