How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
