I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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