i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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