guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
