He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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