if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
